Hey, I know you guys are like basically the worst team in baseball -- here's an idea, get some pitching next year! -- but that's not what I'm here to talk about. Remember in 1996 when the Yankees' fan (may you rot in hell) reached over the fence to catch the "home run"... Well here is your chance at paybacks. Today's the last game at Yankee Stadium. How sweet would it be to return the favor and beat them? Their last game in the historic venue destroyed by the O's.... C'mon, you gotta win this one!
PS- Who wants to bet that Jeffrey Maier created and updates his own Wikipedia page? What a douche bag.